20 THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN 20 YEARS

I literally have no words to describe how awesome it is to have lived in this world for two decades. I have done many things in my life and have accomplished multiple goals that I’m proud of. Imagine living life with no regrets. Through the years I have discovered many things in life that are worth sharing. This list of lessons are in no particular order.

1. It’s okay not to be okay.

⁃ The most cliché of it all. Something bad happens all the time, and it happens to everyone in the world. Things break us down and tear us limb from limb, but it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Unless you want to wallow in your bed all day or get up and conquer the world like it’s your own. Being sad is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. You have been carrying things on your back which you should have already let go of and when you finally realise that you need to move on from it, you feel a sigh of relief and tears just naturally roll down to your cheeks.

2. Always be the Best version of Yourself.

⁃ You are who you are today because of who you were. Look back at your past experiences. Reflect on the circumstances you overcame. Step back on the opportunities you missed. No one lives life better than yourself. People might tell you how to live your life, but remind yourself, this life was given to you for a reason. It’s not for people to step on your dreams and to tell you what to do. Make the most out of it. Treat everyday like it’s your last and things will surely turn out great.

3. Pay more attention to your Thoughts.

⁃ Whatever the hell you’re thinking is what you’re attracting. Each and every one of your thoughts not only matters, but also signifies the beginning of your actions. Once your thoughts are put into actions, they become habits. One of the greatest ways to understand ourselves is to let your thoughts pass by unhindered, as you focus on them. As you learn how to focus your attention to those things that matter, you will be able to discover the forces that will change your reality and develop your true and inner being.

4. Not everyone thinks the same way as you do.

⁃ We all have different perspectives from each other. We view life from a variety of lenses. Your opinion will always be different from the others, some may agree and some may not. You may see something great, but in the eyes of the others, it’s considered horrid. This is okay. Your opinion matters.

5. You still won’t be good enough for the wrong person.

⁃ At your absolute best behaviour and everything, someone will be there who will treat you like shit. But this doesn’t convey that you’re nothing but a lesser person than that shitty person. Beauty is the eyes of the beholder.

6. If it makes you nervous, do it.

⁃ If you’re about to do something in life that makes your heart beat a little faster, then it’s worth doing. Take risks. I have learned that if you were not to take risks in life, you’re living with regrets. Waking up at night from your deep sleep and thinking about what you would have said in the moment, what you would have done to make him stay . . . These things pop up in your mind, so as long as a circumstance or scenario happens that make you uncomfortable do it. Do it willingly, face it courageously. This small effort will result to big things. I can assure you that.

7. You’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling.

⁃ Everything that you feel is valid. You don’t need the opinion of other people on how you should feel on a certain matter. You were not born to validate their opinion. If you feel like shit, you’re allowed to feel shitty. Don’t let anyone tell you that you should feel grateful, because “yada-yada-yada” No ! You’re human, and you matter.

8. Silence is power and it means a lot.

⁃ In a world as chaotic and unjust as this one, keeping your mouth shut may result to great things. The overwhelming feeling that you cannot control and undo is only a reflection. In a room full of noise, it’s best to remain vigilant. Observe, in this chaotic and messed up world, those people who are always loud tend to be those who know less. Shut up and let your actions do the talking. If you have a new phone, shut up. If you have a new house, shut up. If you bought a new car, shut up. Not everything in life needs to be shared in social media. There are still tiny parts in your life which are meant to be kept personal.

9. Take out the clutter.

⁃ If you need to cut people off from your lives, then cut them off. We have no room for negative people. I just want to be surrounded by overflowing positivity, I mean who doesn’t? Would you rather go out with friends who are always game for a good time, than rather wait on hold for someone who clings onto the negatives. Oh honey no, time for you to leave these people behind. To all the friends you lost, they don’t deserve you. You are more than just someone they know, since you have money. You’re worth it. Go out with friends who make you feel worth it, loved and help each other grow.

10. Set an agenda – Timing has a lot to do with everything.

⁃ Write everything that you need to do on a day and make sure to accomplish all of it. Not all plans turn out the way we want to and that’s fine. Time is of the essence and if it didn’t work out, it may not be for you. That’s fine, you’re still young, you can still do a lot of things in your life. Don’t think that just because you didn’t get something you always wanted is you already failed in life and in your endeavours. God plans everything and He will guide you to the right way. Just wait.

11. Feelings and Memories are Eternal.

⁃ Remember that time you fell over and laughed so hard from your stupidity . . . This type of moments rekindles my inner childhood. I have always been fond of runnings and all that, I often trip and fall over down to the gutter. It hurt, but at least I had fun. Whatever you feel, it’s valid. Whatever your reminisce, it’s savoury. May it be a bad and forgetful memory from some you knew or an exhilarating and immense feeling of delight from anyone else. It matters. Keep these as treasures that will help your grow. Growth is as eternal as time.

12. If you’re tired from something, don’t lose hope. Take a rest.

⁃ It’s in the nature of man to give up at one point in their lives. I’ve been in that situation and the thought of it devours me whole. You’re so determined to achieve that goal you have set up, then conflicts come about your way, struggles envelop your path, challenges occur along the way. It’s normal. We all go through this. Learn to take a break. Breathe out the negativity and breathe in the positivity. It’s more exhilarating to be able to achieve something through sheer hard-work rather than going the easy way. There’s nothing wrong with a little help.

13. Give people a second chance, but not a third.

⁃ Sometimes second chances workout better than the first one, because you already learned from your mistakes. In the idea of love, if you were given a chance, don’t perceive it as something you deserve, but because we really do believe in the idea of love. The moment you forgive somebody, chances are that you will also give them a second chance, a chance to be near you, without trying to remind them of what they did to you, treating them not as they are, or as they once were, but rather as you want them to be. By doing this, you are also allowing them to grow and to become better and better every day. Your ego might tell you to “let these people go” but what does your heart tell you?

14. Be someone’s hero.

⁃ As long as you are there for others, honestly, and without expectation, you are a hero. As an aspiring influencer and lifestyle blogger, I’m using this platform as a voice for those who are voiceless. If you know that something’s not right, stand up and let your voice be heard. Stand up for the less fortunate and give them opportunities to rise. Don’t expect others to see gold where you can only see dust. If you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t believe that you are capable, a worthy human being, chances are that nobody will.

15. Bliss is on the other side of fear.

⁃ Take a leap of faith on everything that you do. Take every chance and grab every opportunity. Don’t live a life full of regrets and “what ifs” – there’s so much more out there. Live your life to the fullest and face every fear. It’s best if you were to list down all the things that you’re afraid of and then try to face your fear and check it off of your Bucket-list of Fear –

16. You can’t find happiness in other people.

⁃ Honey, if you’re the type of person who relies on others for happiness, then it’s gonna be a difficult life ahead of you. Love and happiness are the most eternal in the world. These two can be reciprocated throughout everyone and it can be shared. Share the love and happiness, but not to the point that you’re losing your own.

17. Certain things will never go back to how they used to be.

⁃ This hit me so hard to be honest. This is okay. It’s okay that things can’t go back to how they used to be. Better things are coming. He might leave you for someone else, but honey you’re always more than whomsoever he replaced you with. Don’t ever think less of yourself. This also serve as a lesson that think before you speak. Put in mind that whatever you’re about let out will have a positive outcome or not. There’s a fine line between criticism and straight up rude.

18. Forgive but never Forget.

⁃ For the sake of sanity, learn how to forgive. It lessens your emotional stress and it helps you become a lot happier. Let’s not dwell in the past and be swallowed whole by the wrong doings of these people are in your life. I have said it once before and I will say it again. You have to close the book. Even if you don’t want the story to end. How else can you start a different story then ?

19. Treat yourself, you deserve it.

⁃ Whatever situation you are in right now, you are blessed. Everything that you have now, you’ve worked for it. There’s nothing more fulfilling than being able to get to where you want to be thru perseverance. “Have a Break, Have a Kit-Kat” as the quote says. Indulge yourself with chocolates and desserts. Trust me.

20. Lastly, Life is all about journey and less about destination.

⁃ A lot of times we get so focused on our big dreams and goals, that we forget to enjoy this journey called life. Always remember that life is all about this moment. Life is all about the journey and less about the destination. So take a deep cleansing breath and allow yourself to be present in everything you do. Allow yourself to enjoy each second of your life – to observe the world around you, the people present in your life and the beauty that is present within and all around you –

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