This year has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. There were a lot of ups and downs that happened, and by a lot, I mean A LOT. Imagine meeting new people a long your way and then leaving them after a few months since you know for a fact that they’re not meant to be a part of your chapter. I learned that we need to let go of a few people who have been part of our lives may it be someone you just met two weeks ago or someone you’ve known for years, because if you keep holding onto these people who have already ended the chapter of their lives with you and closed the book, how can you close your own and start a new chapter then ?
I really didn’t care about who I’m with, where I’m out and about, when I leave and come back home, and why I spent too much money. I was enjoying my teenage life. I was living each day like it was my last and I do not regret that. I don’t want to live the rest of my life regretting the things I did. I did it for a reason and it made me happy. Looking back, I was this young boy denying his gender preference to an actual man who embraces his femininity.
By the way, that guy you kept thinking about and losing sleep is most likely thinking about someone else and is sleeping well. That girl you cheated on is already with a guy who treats her right and appreciates her. You’re crying over him, but he’s making someone else smile. In life, it’s not always a happy fairy tale ending. The guy doesn’t always get the girl. People don’t always end up being with their first love. We don’t always get what we want. I met a guy once whom I thought was going to change the course of my entire life. I was caught up in the moment and was under the impression that we’re gonna be together for a lifetime. I was wrong. That’s how delusional I was. The sad reality of life.
I’ve realised that people come and go. Let’s not force people to stay in our lives, it will only create more negative energy. We just need to wait for the right time and place for all of our endeavours to happen. Of course, we cannot just sit back and relax, we also need to take action and do our part. Plans without actions are just dreams. If you need to go back to the writing board, then do it. Take your time, no one is rushing you to do these things.
If one door closes, then one window opens its way. These things often happen in life and I’ve learned how to view these circumstances in a different perspective. As a very pessimistic person, this is one of the most difficult things to do. Imagine growing up being told that you’re not good enough, endlessly being compared to other people and bearing this in mind up to this day. However, thanks to the people who helped me otherwise and showered me with love and bathe me with confidence. I am who I am today because of that. My point is, things don’t always go as planned, there will always be circumstances that will break us, but it’s up to us if we’re going to let these things break us or make us.
Nonetheless, I’m very much thankful and blessed to be living this life. I’m so fortunate to be surrounded by friends and family who keep helping me grow to become a better person. As the lyrics go, it’s been a long and winding journey, but we’re finally here. 2017 was the year of realisation and growth. I’m looking forward to more great things this 2018. Here I am yet again, embarking on a new journey to self-fulfilment and happiness. If it’s not like the movies, then that’s how it should be. What are you looking forward into this year ?
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Ian Knowles 